the Big Blue...

Hooray!! Guess who completed her internship.? Its obvious isn't it. After more than 12 weeks at IBM, I came to my last day. It has been a great journey filled with learning, learning and more learning. The first day that I stepped into Plaza to register and make my employee badge, I was determined to be good at my job and to make this journey a memorable, kick-ass one. When they asked if I could extend till the week before my new semester was suppose to start, I didn't hesitate much. To get a placement with them with the results that I have is a miracle on its own ~ this part I would like to thank my upbringing, thank God I spoke English at home that made me nail the interview in parts where my CV was dented. Extending wasn't much of an issue for me also is because I know how I have been away for stuffs regarding my grandmother and also with Malacca. Am I proud of the placement and also the work I did. A "no" would be total bull right? So definitely yes, I am proud of what I have done during my internship. I didn't get a chance to check how many job seekers that I have handled or have contacted was successfully hired. Whether my performance was exceptional or not, is probably another matter. My main tasks in the office was basically phone interviewing job seekers, passive sourcing for job seekers in job portals, screening CVs, posting and advertising jobs to name a few. I would say I enjoy doing it, though sometimes I find some of it a little tedious. Apart from that, I also had a presentation, which I think I did a decent job at =P 

The three months plus that I was at home, many things had happened. From losing my grandmother to getting a new phone. Talk about extremes. I believed in the three months plus that I was there I contributed to the team that I was assigned in, be it a major or a minor one. I loved getting my paycheck (ooohhh I love my paycheck), knowing that I worked for those money feels good. But I didn't really save while I was home also ~ I spent so much for new clothes but looking at my closet now, I don't see where are my new clothes also. Now that I am back to being a student, I felt almost immediately that my thrifty nature came back haha...

There were stuff that I played a part in and contributed which is not my proudest moments. If there is such a thing as a punishment as of now, I am paying the price. Now that classes have resumed and I am now back in campus, I have to pay my dues for the nonsense that I have done while I was away. Since this is my space in the WWW, I shall write clear and hard of what hurts (quoting Ernest Hemingway). Indeed its not painless (double negatives haha) for me, I did not set out to hurt and maybe back stab. In such an age of social media, there are plenty of keyboard warriors and unfortunately I am one too in this matter. So going for whatever trips for the purpose of relaxation and appreciation whatever, was out of the question for me then. Last minute or whatever, I leave it to the person to think. To publicly write you can't believe what happened "yesterday" is probably not your proudest moment either. You said plenty to me after, after which I don't see a point in explaining myself. And no, not because I wanna disperse blame or I was completely at guilt, but because you don't have a single grasp on me. Accountability, my friend, is probably one concept that you never got. I almost laughed out loud when you were screwing me, in the middle of such a not laughable time. Do I wonder if I am or was a table topic to you and your friends? Well yea of course, I must be blind if I don't think so. Am I sorry for what I have done? Yes of course, I didn't set out to hurt a friend. I failed at being of help to you. Do I bother if you are aware of that? Probably not. I know what my intentions are and were and that should be enough already. 

But all in all, my internship was mine. The things I faced, the challenges I overcame, its value adding to myself. What I have done is possibly selfish, but it is mine to keep and "sell" when I graduate and look for jobs. I did question myself this, which I think can be of use to many ~ Is it better to be brainless or heartless? At that time, my answer was it was better to be heartless. I need my brains to get by. Well, sometimes I am quite the bitch. I'll admit that.

Happier posts to come for Delta.!! #finalyearstudent