Imaginary Stage, Spotlights and Curtains

Technically, ROC2 : Dear David is coming to all you all live on stage today. At least before it got extended though. Its both strange and exciting to know that at this very moment, me and the rest of the cast and crew of ROC2 might be singing, acting, dancing, running for props transition, the band doing their thing, the back up singers singing their hearts out and so much more. It is gonna be nerve wrecking and chaotic but it will all be worth it as we do all these, endured all the grueling practices for God and it pleases Him.


That makes yesterday's full dress rehearsal the "final" one. For me, it is the most impactful one by far. We sat in a circle and had a sharing session. Directors affirmed us that they will be listening as your friends, your brothers and sisters. My heart was beating so fast - "should I share or shouldn't I.??!". Sharings like these are supposed to be encouraging, to bring each other up and I know for a fact, that what I want to say is nowhere close to that. In the end, though it took a whole lot of courage, I raised my hand. I decided to just make all my anger, frustrations, dissapoinments, things that I only talk to a few friends of mine behind closed doors and all my beh song-ness public. Truthfully, I don't think there is any positive elements in what I shared. Its all about how angry I am, how I hated being in this campus in general, how unenthusiastic I am to come for practices, how I wish I am actually doing Agape rather than ROC and how I am like in a different frequency with the people here bla bla bla and a whole lot of complains and ranting. In other words, it was a public outburst that was so not and far from encouraging. But I think letting it out did help me for the rehearsal later. I didn't get neither good nor bad feedback from the directors but I felt I did a little better XP hahaha...And not forgetting those who came and talk to me after that, I really appreciate it, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.


I really thank God for his timing last week, seeing how flawless his timing is, with CG outing and watching aCt3. These two events were the turning points for me. I shared a little (just a fraction) of what I shared on full rehearsal during CG and watching aCt3 kinda fired me up to continue and press on with ROC no matter how hard it is. To see the satisfaction on the faces of seniors that I don't even know, was so encouraging and in my heart I was like "Yes.!! God sees all my hard work and He will get me through this and not abandon me and I cannot wait to feel the satisfaction when all these are done.!!". All that I can do now is to let it go and to just to trust Him.


With this being said, I end with something that I find encouraging :-)

Psalm 13:5 - But I trust in your unfailing love, and my heart rejoices in your salvation.