How It Is

There was this incident that I had to face earlier this week. There was no avoiding it. I had a "more serious than usual" sit down session with one of the closest people I met in my varsity life. Truth is, I was quite scared for it. I didn't know how I would be able to open up my eyes and bring myself to lie to this friend's face, just to save face. I didn't know what I should prepare, as I don't even know what questions will be flung to my face. So, in I went with all the false bravado and sat down confidently to be potentially "fried". The session didn't exactly come as a surprise. I would consider myself "warned". I shall not expose what went on as both parties agreed that whatever that is said will stay in that room and only between the both of us. But I indirectly realized something and this I will let slip ~ I close so many "one eye" because you are "family". I had been that bias in my daily conduct and the pathetic part is, you continue to abuse it and I allowed myself to be abused in such a way again and again. *don't I ever learn..* I'm still letting this to sink real deep in and understand why I did that.

While I was at the "warned" stage, one friend told me this ~ It seems that you are in "tai wok" with both sides. My reply to that was, "I think I would wanna un-"tai wok" myself at that rather than at this, cause at this, whatever I do or don't do, I feel I'm in "tai wok", so yea..". Then an encounter that had I-won't-take-back-what-I-said written all over it happened. More reason to devote time and effort at that than this. 

*in my dictionary, probably dictionaries of many as well, tai-wok is the Cantonese equivalent to "deep shit" in English.

I'll Take What Is Given To Me

The 2012 version to this. No pictures though =P
The previous one, I was just sitting in the crowd, plain excited for the day. 

The current one, I'm the one that's in charge of making it happen, glory and thanks goes to Him first and foremost of course.

There was this one day trip to Cyberjaya over the weekend which I had the privilege to organize with my ex-CF. I enjoyed the day of course and now that the trip has come to an end, I can also say that I did enjoy the planning as well.

Its tough to say that you "enjoy" telling people "16 people has signed up" 2 days before the event, even more so when your expected target was 40 people and "publicity" has been on for 2 weeks. Its down right embarrassing to tell people indirectly how something you're in charge of is epic-ly failing. It was painful when some said "but your bus is for 40 people right". Truth is still truth even if its "16 people 2 days before the event". Sitting in a meeting a day(less than 24 hours before departure) before the event and hearing suggestions was ridiculous. Suggestions given weren't that ridiculous, the ridiculous was hearing all of it at that kind of time ~ when there is no more time to implement it and when it is already so late. If only all this came earlier. I was able to put up a nice presentable face still after some self psycho-ing and also some very long, tear filled, angry rambling phone calls with a friend from home. I am not afraid to admit(well here at least) this cause I was in that state. Through some last minute string pulling of certain people, the number got nicer (a 27 btw). 

I was obviously happy and thankful for this, then I had another thing to worry ~ awkward silences. Given my rep, I am not so sure if I am the person to break awkward silences. I was worried sick for this. But when all of us arrived and were put in the same room, people just naturally mingled *pheww*. Not sure if it could have been more but in my eyes, cukup la...I was really happy to meet and talk to some of the new faces from Cyber. 

I was hands off once we arrived in Cyber mainly cause the activities are taken care of by the Cyber CF. Station games were fun. Never thought of doing a human tetris for a charade-like challenge and that putting an angel hair pasta thru a "pasta with a hole" would be so tough =D The walk in the garden was an adventurous one. Me, Esther, Deric and Edward got lost. We walked till there was no more proper path to walk on. We still managed to find our way out on our own, while taking some jump shots and sightseeing at the lake. Dinner was a bit messy for me. We had to split up cause there were many options of where to eat.

Through the mini conversations I had with a few people after the trip, the location that we chose for the wrap up and sharing was surprisingly good. It was unexpected for many. We did it at one of Putrajaya's many colourful-ly lighted bridges. Many were in "those who don't take photos took out their phones to do so" awe of it. Ahahaha =D I was glad that the location turned out good considering we organizers decided on it during dinner time. I think it was this bridge that me and Vivian did a "photoshoot" XD 

In the end, I was glad that the trip turned out the way it did. It could have turned out worse or even better, but I'll take whatever that's given to me. Planning this I got to see how priorities differ among us(there is no good or bad to this). What I view as of utmost importance could just be something so small to someone else and vice versa. I saw how I cannot force someone into something. I love being able to come back and stuff like walking around FOE Foyer can already make me jump in happiness. People who has left would understand. Certain places has sentimental value and this is one of the many. *thankful* 

Please Save It

So, what does one do when numbers for something(could be your weight, height, attendance, bank account balance etc) is not at a desired state.? You have done your part and there is nothing left to do, on your part at least. You psycho, brainwash and most importantly, you beg God to help you see that the number you got is a pretty miraculous number. You ingat senang nak dapat atau sampai nombor tu.?! 

And to those who see the obvious gap, please. I saw the gap way before you did, and whats worse is that in my eyes, that huge ass gap has more behind it. For your sake and mine as well, just save it. 

*end of rambling*