Cool People Walk Alone Too

I thank God even though today has been tiring both emotionally and physically. I put up a good face, the "professional" face during ROC practice which was close to half a day. It could have been much worse, but hey look on the bright side, at least I get to go on with my next semester according to my course structure, I can take all the subjects according to the structure, and I don't have to retake any papers =) That is something to smile about.

Being the kind of person who has this fear of seeing her own results and the habit of getting someone else be the deliverer of bad news, so I asked a couple of my friends to check my result. Then a text came..*jeng jeng jeng* *face turned black* definitely not what I wanted to see. I remember ever since starting Uni, I can say my ultimate fear is getting below a certain CGPA. Went to one corner of the room and called a friend of mine and ranted all I wanted. 

Then the hard part came ~ telling the parents...Chose another corner of the room with a window. Talked to my dad and told him that there might be a chance he has to start paying for my tuition fees. The lecture he gave was surprisingly short. In fact he told me some really encouraging stuff, hearing that I went on more bout the financial side of things instead of how I should start working harder for better grades. *Don't worry who's gonna pay your fees, that's for me to worry. You just make sure to work harder to get better results* Every kid would I guess be rejoicing when their dad mentions that. I felt even worse, more guilty in fact, started crying and he kept saying everything will be ok... All I wanted at that time was to go back to my room and be alone. But I was hungry, so no choice, have to walk into a restaurant with my eyes red and swollen >.< 

Second half of the day came which equates to more practices. Honestly, I wasn't in the mood and if I were rebellious enough, I could have just walked back without even thinking twice. Walked into the room and saw some people clearly very pleased with what they have gotten *tahan, don't cry MeiTheng* Practice didn't go so well, couldn't nail my ahem role and its so clear that scenes with my ahem role could not move in the progress chart because of me. I know I am giving my directors a hard time and making them more frustrated by not letting loose and all. I really am trying, maybe there's something seriously wrong with me.

Practiced dismissed for the day, grabbed my stuff and left immediately. Went into my room, locked doors, called my friend and cried talking to her probably even freaked her out a lil'. Didn't head out for dinner, don't know if anyone had any plans, no one called, didn't bother to call either. I like spending my nights even my days alone anyways =) Cool people walk alone too you know =P Did a little bit of laundry, watched some One Tree Hill and that's basically how today went. 

Emotionally draining enough.?? With disappointments here and there.? 

For me ~ y e s.