Ushering 2014

Last day of 2013, hooorrraayyyyy....? Notice the question mark at the end? See, that's something that I am not really getting here. Its the last day of a year, a year in the life of XXX, it means something, no?

I don't know if I am blowing New Year's Eve gathering and parties out of proportion, but I am quite sick of hearing some say its "just another day" and they add on a "get over it" as well. I can't bear the thought that some sees it as a day to just get by or get over with. It sounds real pathetic to me that one can opt to just watch dramas in their room to usher in a new year. End a year and start a whole new year on a good note, no? Your birthday and no one does anything for you, its just another day and you should just get over it. Can I use the same reasoning on that? We celebrate the birth of a Saviour on Christmas, but its just another day and just get over it. Again, can I use the same reasoning for this situation as well. 

I remembered a year where my family just got home from a New Year Eve's party at a relatives place, endless amount of food served and countdown done. Once we got home, I got into a fight with my brother about something, trivial I might add. Lo and behold, my dad came into the picture and we got a real good lesson. I clearly remembered him saying this "First day of 20XX and you wanna start with a fight!". 

Same difference here I guess. First day of 2014 and you wanna start by getting it over with. First day of 2014 and you wanna spend it rotting at home. 

FYI, I am not asking for a sophisticated and lavish, all out bash to be thrown to usher in a new year kays?

The #roc3embrace Journey Pt. 3

.: long, panjang lebar written post ahead :.

I wouldn't have thought that throughout directing and backup singing for ROC3 would only produce 2 blog posts! Yes, ROC3 has ended. I can't believe its has come to live on stage and curtain has been called.. *is there such a thing? Its meant to be curtain call but you get what I'm trying to convey*. 

Its amazing to have my family in the audience, I guess its their first time in a very long time seeing me get involved in something artsy. Sadly, they missed the opening and they came in halfway through Prelude. So, in a way they didn't get to see me on stage *laugh out loud*. Was quite nervous for the opening, first time solo singing on stage with mics *phew*. Really enjoyed playing the role of a "ballet flat wearing Greek goddess in a maroon peter-pan collared, mullet dress". Embrace's opening was derived from The Gospel Truth from Hercules and I must say, its definitely a different kind of opening than what was done in previous musicals. 

Standing at where the backup singers stood, my eyes were glued to the stage. How to not look there anyways? Mega proud of everyone, they gave their best and if there was mistakes, the cover ups were superb! Hearing how the crowd goes was encouraging at the same time funny. My dad was reminded of his youth hearing some of the songs that was included in this year's production. Really glad that there was something that he relates to. 

Serving with my other 5 scriptwriters were an experience on its own. I would admit that it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows throughout the 8 weeks of practices and the additional 3 to 4 weeks of script writing prior to that. There were times that we differed in opinions but I am thankful that we are united. In vision, direction and also in having each other's backs. It was amazing seeing how we differ in terms of music taste and imagination but yet, it came out in one really awesome-ly merged script.

I struggled with being gracious-equally to all my cast. The Alphas were pretty much in the safe zone as I gave them the "you're a junior" ticket. The seniors, on the other hand, I expected them deliver. There is a line in the musical which was said by the character Emma "I believe in working my way..". I personally have that mindset towards people who are, hmm how should I put this, "there". For those that I consider "there", its in my understanding/logic that they have clock in their hours, braved through storms, paid their dues and worked their way to where they are now, which is "there". "Up there" to be precise. And when you are "there", its preferable that you better not be a waste of space. 

I had a relatively rough time accepting that things are handed to certain people almost like on a platter. I know its rather ironic to think that I was handpicked by God himself to write a story on the subject of grace. Grace, aside from it something given to us when we are so undeserving of it,  its also something that is freely given to all by God himself, almost like on a platter. Then one day, it just hit me. Why bother being unhappy of how God chose to bless others? Its their blessings and God blesses me in His own special way too! Seen or unseen, His blessings are indeed upon my life. Its my pathetic nature to choose to compare blessings with the people around me. I wouldn't say I am completely over it, but I believe now I have clarity that I never had before. 

The #roc3embrace Journey Pt. 2

Reporting to you blog readers live from the workstation of a director. This is the story of ROC3 practices thus far as of 19th of November 2013.

Just entered Week 5 of my academic calender and I just sat for one of my midterm yesterday - BBL2014 Business Law. Technically, the musical is 3 more weeks away as booking for the main hall has been APPROVED.! Having main hall approved meant that the musical is happening on the 9th of December 2013 and it will be my first time doing a musical in that main hall. I must say that Main Hall doesn't look as nice as Rumah Media (where I had my first ROC experience), but this is the venue that every musical is intended to be held at, in campus.

To be honest, I've been having this "I wanna get things done" mentality quite a lot, more than I should. You see, I intended ROC3 to be this great journey of faith, where I expected great trials and problems to actually come up that would make me rely on God more. Not to say that things have been easy peasy but I've been doing well with the "get things done" mentality. Like the other how Sally shared that different musicals will have different issues, like how during ROC2, she felt picked on. Cast and crews will make comments on the blog that she is in charge of, the transport list etc.

According to her, this time round for ROC3, its costumes that are problematic. Costume arrangements are done by me. For me all this while when casts come to me and say they wanna change something and all, I thought it was just the nature of making costume arrangements. It never occurred to me that I was picked on. Upon knowing I might have been indirectly "picked on", multiple thoughts ran through my mind, like how I know I am not a mainstream face here and how because of that, people are not having an easy time accepting the arrangements that I have came up with. I, all of a sudden had all the reason in the world to believe that - No, its not my costume arrangements that have major problem, the major problem is they or some of them anyways, have a problem with the person assigning costumes this time round and that's me.

But you know what, I trust the good taste that God gave me and also the eyes that my other directors have when they come to me wanting to amend costumes in their scene. I am trying to not be arrogant of this position, responsibility and authority given to me, I am just trying to stay firm and protect the vision I've had in mind. In fact, I will try my best also in staying tough while being picked on.

Picked on.? Nah, I intend to work closely with clothes in the future, all the unpleasant things coming my way now I take it as the nature of the task. Do note also that I know how to protect my vision and at the same time know how to consider what amendments are valid and which are not.

The #roc3embrace Journey Pt. 1

This is the Embrace journey as of 7th November 2013. It's Week 3 of my academic calender now, so that means that I have survived Intensive Week together with Week 1 and 2 of ROC practices. Being a scene director, costume director and a backup singer has been packed with experience so far. Intensive Week was not as tough as how I initially imagined, hugely thanks to this current batch of juniors. Not just are they attentive and ready to listen to orders, their enthusiasm, work ethic, professionalism and curiosity has been encouraging to me. They just have so much energy that they stay even when they do not have practices. Like, are you guys kidding meyh.?? 

Been quite happy with the choreography though changes still occur here and there, thanks to my late night Youtubing session, not so with singing because of #macamyestapibukan cases. But there's nothing that can't be whipped to perfection. I am so prepared to be hated >.< To date, we only had one full dress rehearsal, and I truly believe that costumes does bring out a character. Not to sound cocky, but for a first full dress rehearsal, I think the costumes I assigned looked pretty good. HAHAHAHA.. I allow you to laugh and let go of the urge to punch me in the face for 3 seconds. 

Thinking back of how I was as a junior here, I did none of those sort of things. Whenever I do not have scenes, all I do is rush home and get some sleeepppp. I wasn't into availing myself for "girly hangouts" cause they were not my kind of hangout. Fingers crossed for greater productivity to come, both in scene practices and also backup singing practice. Got assigned to sing one of Glee's done-so-right songs so YESSS.!!! I always felt inadequate (one way or another) because of the usual, I-don't-play-any-instruments or I-never-sang-or-joined-a-choir, but I am glad I made up for that through my dad's upbringing on me. Thank goodness I have a dad who listens and appreciated the music of his generation and I guess through that I gained an appreciation not just for the music of his generation but eventually mine as well. How many souls out there can appreciate Bieber? 

But yeah, I know how to fake swag when needed. No amount of formal music education can teach you that. You learn that by hearing your dad sing for fun in the car lols. ROC3 is gonna so kick-ass.!!

Falling Like a Piece of "Nangka"

There was this episode that I had few years back when the people in my batch did an ice skating trip. After numerous rounds on the ice just to be more "fluid" but still skating like a log of wood, two Malay boys were skating behind me and one all of a sudden fell. The one that did not fall laughed and said "bagai nangka jatuh". Translated it means falling like a piece of nangka *dukkk*. That was something that I laughed about for weeks and my batch mates wouldn't let it go as well. That was few years back.

Yesterday, Friday (30th Aug 2013) the CF did a Running Men inspired game. I do not watch Running Men but the gist I got from people was its a game of a team chasing a hiding team. I was paired with a junior and she led the pairing. That is till I fell flat hahaha... The pain is bearable but after spending some time watching Michelle Kwan in the 2002 Olympics free skate, where she fell and just got back up to continue with the program, woooowww, MeiTheng you're a piece of tofu =.=

Skaters falling because of not landing on their jumps basically redefined "nangka jatuh" and how they get on with their program is mind blasting. My case of just a simple fall and I walk with bent knees and ouches here and there...

How is that possible? Overall watching figure skating for the first time in a long time was really fun for me. I still remember what the jumps are called and the spins etc. My childhood =))

"We Are Going Back Now"

Attended MMU's 14th Convocation yesterday. The day started off a little bumpy but am glad that it worked out in the end. Came to Cyber campus slightly later than I expected so by the time I reached, dear Esther has already entered the Grand Hall and the rest were going off to get some lunch, both Malaccans and Cyberians. I just followed because that was where everyone is.

Do note that I write this because I need an outlet to let it out and also because the friends that I call whenever things happened are not available to pick up my call at the moment. I do not intend to hold it in because I don't know what kind of damage it would do to me. Yes, I sayang myself that much and if that makes me a bitch, you're a bitch as well just because I can love myself that much. I guess I am writing this because what actually happened, "the not so good" part affected me one way or another. Trust me, I tried self psycho-ing last night, I didn't work as much as I wanted it too. So the story goes like this...

After lunch at Shaftbury's Subway, I thought all were going to head back to campus; my security and guarantee was with the Engineering Faculty from Malacca as there are graduates that we know from there. Malaccans are strange (at this part, kindly leave should you be offended), they are willing to travel 4 hours and just spend 2 hours plus at the place they traveled to. Unfortunately, my security blanket did not secure me enough. They were all heading back right after lunch (meaning from Subway) and they are not planning to wait for the engineers from Malacca (hahah) to come out from the hall after being "convocated". I panicked for a split second, but then I asked Jerome if he would be okay with me cramming in his car. He was ok with it. Scott who was supposed to be in the same car as Jerome decided to overnight in his own place in PJ so that the journey back to Malacca would be so bad. 

The fault might have also been from me since I came late to campus but if this was a mainstream face, the whole kampung would have waited just so she/he gets what they wanted. And being mainstream really does get you places because people will automatically be more thoughtful of your plight and be extra sacrificial. 

I worked real hard to toughen up against what would have hurt me two years ago and I did. The success rate of this is not a 100% so for the times that I am affected, I can say I am affected bad. Basically, when it doesn't affect me, it just doesn't. But when it does, I am wreck. 

Part and Parcel of Writing

In my previous post, I shared about my hopeless love and ridiculous admiration for Taylor Swift's music and song writing and also how "the moment I control-S my word document, I felt as if I have written the best piece of writing I have in my lifetime". I still am standing by what I wrote haha. I had another meeting over the weekend to present my script to the rest of the scriptwriters. I felt really happy to share what I have written and hearing them laugh and be entertained at what I wrote was so fulfilling to me. I mean, I was in the mindset that I have written the most kick ass thing and that nothing can beat it okay?


After the meeting, there were amendments. I expected this part from the beginning but I believe that one does not find it easy to scrape and re-think an original idea. Even more so when its an original idea that the person herself thought of from scratch. I had quite a tough time deciding what to scrape because all were so precious to me. Too precious. So I kinda left the scraping to my head directorand she did. It was only then the writing/amending got easier for me. As of now, I would say I have finalized my scripts. Finalized as in the version that all scriptwriters are going to present to fellow cast members during the musical launching.


As I was touching them up, I realized that this one song got to stay. I can't reveal what this one song is (find out for yourself during launching), but it was a song that my dad introduced to me when I was very young, around 7 or 8 maybe. You know how the 80's was the decade that produced quite a number of groundbreaking musicals like Footloose, Flashdance and Fame and my dad still being quite "in" then knew them well. This one song is a soundtrack from one of those musicals and my dad being the music enthusiast that he is, told me bout the movie that this song is from and encouraged me to watch it when I got the chance. It was then I was determined to watch the musical when I am old enough (because of explicit content). My chance to watch it eventually came and I can say that that one song is one of those songs that has stuck with me over the years. I don't think of it all the time, but whenever it comes on the radio, I make a mental note that this was one of the songs that my dad shared with me and I know this song in a way that not many in my generation might know. Okay, maybe I am deluded but who actually would know what I know is actually rare? I was 8 years old and has already been fed with pop culture facts hahaha...


Though scraping so much songs that I initially had in mind and written for my script was tough, the whole time I just didn't want to do my job, looking back at the latest version that I have control-S at, I am comforted by the fact of that one song that got to stay =) Working with a team, we sacrifice our preferences to make way for other people's preferences which might weigh more in the big picture.
As the journey continues...

All Too Well

"Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well"

I like how when I listen to a song that's familiar but yet I can still discover new lyrics in the midst of what is already known. That above is from Taylor Swift's All Too Well and I strongly believe she is the only person on the face of earth that can come up and pull off such lyrics. The fairy tale, dream like feel when one listen's to her music. She has done it multiple times. Another favourite from her is in Sparks Fly's music video. I don't purposely search for MVs to watch but I am glad that I saw this. Ballerinas and those dresses...Such bliss =) 

Going to a Taylor Swift concert is definitely a must in my lifetime. In the meantime, maybe owning her perfume Wonderstruck would be surreal...

I have completed my musical script, with the songs and dialogues and I don't know if its just me but the moment I control-S my word document, I felt as if I have written the best piece of writing I have in my lifetime. It feels perfect. HAHA, but let's just see how the coming weekend's scene presentation would go.

Till then...

Romantically Deprived

One more paper to go for midterm and after I would be midterms free. Someone is gonna get so fluffed up because the title above was "coined" by him. 

I don't know how discrete should one be about something that people already know but none is talking about it publicly. Its a topic that many are unwilling to initiate, but once initiated *poof* hottest topic you can get I think. Anyhow, there will be a major project again this year by the CF and this time round, I'm a "scriptwriter". Not "Bimbo Nurse" or "Kid at Orphanage" or "Non-Playable Character". For now its "scriptwriter", other roles/posts I shall reveal later if any =P 

I have written scripts before, a few times here and there. Written more than what was actually staged or acted out. This would be the biggest script and production that I will be writing to date. Since it will be from scratch and being in a position where you can have a little say at how you want the story to be or go, no doubt you will put up things that you would like to see. Right no.? I had been persistent on a particular matter since day 1 but in the end, it was decided that what I wanted up on display will not get the green light. So that particular thing I wanted so badly, earned me the label of "romantically deprived".

As a person who appreciates art, I'm eager to see where this project will take me. Strange to see myself being the one pushing others now, instead of being the one pushed. Will be cruel or even unrealistic of me to want people to perform like the cast of Glee or dance like the contestants in So You Think You Can Dance. Especially in the area of dance. I am no dancer (I go from saying I have two left legs to the ground is shaking) and heck, I never took ballet before also. But, I have appreciated seeing performances where dancers really stretch as far as they can. You should be able to tell that I like those contemporary ballet or lyrical dance performances by now.  Whatever that I cannot do physically, does not mean I can't picture it in my mind. If there is a piece that I can co-choreograph (mannn, the head director must have that much faith in me), I'm gonna push them to stretch their legs further or jump and leap as high and far as they can. That's in the dance department. Be ready for status quos to be challenged.!

To the journey of script writing, whhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeee~~~~

Rekindle the Fire

That is one thing that impacted me in church today. That three words, the rest of the sermon, I have forgotten or I wasn't paying much attention to begin with. So that three words sealed the deal for me. 

No activities has been carried out for the "thing" that I said yes to yet, but I sure hope that when it does, I will be enthusiastic and positive about it. Its gonna be a role that has much bigger responsibilities that the one I held in the previous production. 

I am not an outstanding figure in leadership, but I don't think I suck big time as well. In student activities/productions, unlike a real job where food on the table is determined by how you do your job, its easy for students or US, to not have much motivation. I once led a group of people who 1) had another language medium as mine. It was bearable at first, I could contain the Grammar Nazi in me. Then after my internship, its irritating to hear people not "speaking properly". They were also of a different kind of work ethic and frequency. They came to meeting multiple times unprepared and when I come to claim their work, they are honest enough to tell me not to worry. I didn't wanna take cheap shots at them or to tell them how to use their time. It was at their own conscience. So, I am not terrible neither am I great. I hope to be open to learning and growth but give me a crowd like that, I just won't be able to be effective and efficient in my work. 

By availing myself for this production in my final year, its definitely a risk. I might have a clue on how demanding this journey would be but not the biggest and clearest picture. Like how the title suggest, its a step (quite a big one actually) that I am taking to rekindle the fire for God. To what lies ahead, its gonna be kick-ass (most used words at the moment).