The #roc3embrace Journey Pt. 1

This is the Embrace journey as of 7th November 2013. It's Week 3 of my academic calender now, so that means that I have survived Intensive Week together with Week 1 and 2 of ROC practices. Being a scene director, costume director and a backup singer has been packed with experience so far. Intensive Week was not as tough as how I initially imagined, hugely thanks to this current batch of juniors. Not just are they attentive and ready to listen to orders, their enthusiasm, work ethic, professionalism and curiosity has been encouraging to me. They just have so much energy that they stay even when they do not have practices. Like, are you guys kidding meyh.?? 

Been quite happy with the choreography though changes still occur here and there, thanks to my late night Youtubing session, not so with singing because of #macamyestapibukan cases. But there's nothing that can't be whipped to perfection. I am so prepared to be hated >.< To date, we only had one full dress rehearsal, and I truly believe that costumes does bring out a character. Not to sound cocky, but for a first full dress rehearsal, I think the costumes I assigned looked pretty good. HAHAHAHA.. I allow you to laugh and let go of the urge to punch me in the face for 3 seconds. 

Thinking back of how I was as a junior here, I did none of those sort of things. Whenever I do not have scenes, all I do is rush home and get some sleeepppp. I wasn't into availing myself for "girly hangouts" cause they were not my kind of hangout. Fingers crossed for greater productivity to come, both in scene practices and also backup singing practice. Got assigned to sing one of Glee's done-so-right songs so YESSS.!!! I always felt inadequate (one way or another) because of the usual, I-don't-play-any-instruments or I-never-sang-or-joined-a-choir, but I am glad I made up for that through my dad's upbringing on me. Thank goodness I have a dad who listens and appreciated the music of his generation and I guess through that I gained an appreciation not just for the music of his generation but eventually mine as well. How many souls out there can appreciate Bieber? 

But yeah, I know how to fake swag when needed. No amount of formal music education can teach you that. You learn that by hearing your dad sing for fun in the car lols. ROC3 is gonna so kick-ass.!!

Falling Like a Piece of "Nangka"

There was this episode that I had few years back when the people in my batch did an ice skating trip. After numerous rounds on the ice just to be more "fluid" but still skating like a log of wood, two Malay boys were skating behind me and one all of a sudden fell. The one that did not fall laughed and said "bagai nangka jatuh". Translated it means falling like a piece of nangka *dukkk*. That was something that I laughed about for weeks and my batch mates wouldn't let it go as well. That was few years back.

Yesterday, Friday (30th Aug 2013) the CF did a Running Men inspired game. I do not watch Running Men but the gist I got from people was its a game of a team chasing a hiding team. I was paired with a junior and she led the pairing. That is till I fell flat hahaha... The pain is bearable but after spending some time watching Michelle Kwan in the 2002 Olympics free skate, where she fell and just got back up to continue with the program, woooowww, MeiTheng you're a piece of tofu =.=

Skaters falling because of not landing on their jumps basically redefined "nangka jatuh" and how they get on with their program is mind blasting. My case of just a simple fall and I walk with bent knees and ouches here and there...

How is that possible? Overall watching figure skating for the first time in a long time was really fun for me. I still remember what the jumps are called and the spins etc. My childhood =))

"We Are Going Back Now"

Attended MMU's 14th Convocation yesterday. The day started off a little bumpy but am glad that it worked out in the end. Came to Cyber campus slightly later than I expected so by the time I reached, dear Esther has already entered the Grand Hall and the rest were going off to get some lunch, both Malaccans and Cyberians. I just followed because that was where everyone is.

Do note that I write this because I need an outlet to let it out and also because the friends that I call whenever things happened are not available to pick up my call at the moment. I do not intend to hold it in because I don't know what kind of damage it would do to me. Yes, I sayang myself that much and if that makes me a bitch, you're a bitch as well just because I can love myself that much. I guess I am writing this because what actually happened, "the not so good" part affected me one way or another. Trust me, I tried self psycho-ing last night, I didn't work as much as I wanted it too. So the story goes like this...

After lunch at Shaftbury's Subway, I thought all were going to head back to campus; my security and guarantee was with the Engineering Faculty from Malacca as there are graduates that we know from there. Malaccans are strange (at this part, kindly leave should you be offended), they are willing to travel 4 hours and just spend 2 hours plus at the place they traveled to. Unfortunately, my security blanket did not secure me enough. They were all heading back right after lunch (meaning from Subway) and they are not planning to wait for the engineers from Malacca (hahah) to come out from the hall after being "convocated". I panicked for a split second, but then I asked Jerome if he would be okay with me cramming in his car. He was ok with it. Scott who was supposed to be in the same car as Jerome decided to overnight in his own place in PJ so that the journey back to Malacca would be so bad. 

The fault might have also been from me since I came late to campus but if this was a mainstream face, the whole kampung would have waited just so she/he gets what they wanted. And being mainstream really does get you places because people will automatically be more thoughtful of your plight and be extra sacrificial. 

I worked real hard to toughen up against what would have hurt me two years ago and I did. The success rate of this is not a 100% so for the times that I am affected, I can say I am affected bad. Basically, when it doesn't affect me, it just doesn't. But when it does, I am wreck. 

Part and Parcel of Writing

In my previous post, I shared about my hopeless love and ridiculous admiration for Taylor Swift's music and song writing and also how "the moment I control-S my word document, I felt as if I have written the best piece of writing I have in my lifetime". I still am standing by what I wrote haha. I had another meeting over the weekend to present my script to the rest of the scriptwriters. I felt really happy to share what I have written and hearing them laugh and be entertained at what I wrote was so fulfilling to me. I mean, I was in the mindset that I have written the most kick ass thing and that nothing can beat it okay?


After the meeting, there were amendments. I expected this part from the beginning but I believe that one does not find it easy to scrape and re-think an original idea. Even more so when its an original idea that the person herself thought of from scratch. I had quite a tough time deciding what to scrape because all were so precious to me. Too precious. So I kinda left the scraping to my head directorand she did. It was only then the writing/amending got easier for me. As of now, I would say I have finalized my scripts. Finalized as in the version that all scriptwriters are going to present to fellow cast members during the musical launching.


As I was touching them up, I realized that this one song got to stay. I can't reveal what this one song is (find out for yourself during launching), but it was a song that my dad introduced to me when I was very young, around 7 or 8 maybe. You know how the 80's was the decade that produced quite a number of groundbreaking musicals like Footloose, Flashdance and Fame and my dad still being quite "in" then knew them well. This one song is a soundtrack from one of those musicals and my dad being the music enthusiast that he is, told me bout the movie that this song is from and encouraged me to watch it when I got the chance. It was then I was determined to watch the musical when I am old enough (because of explicit content). My chance to watch it eventually came and I can say that that one song is one of those songs that has stuck with me over the years. I don't think of it all the time, but whenever it comes on the radio, I make a mental note that this was one of the songs that my dad shared with me and I know this song in a way that not many in my generation might know. Okay, maybe I am deluded but who actually would know what I know is actually rare? I was 8 years old and has already been fed with pop culture facts hahaha...


Though scraping so much songs that I initially had in mind and written for my script was tough, the whole time I just didn't want to do my job, looking back at the latest version that I have control-S at, I am comforted by the fact of that one song that got to stay =) Working with a team, we sacrifice our preferences to make way for other people's preferences which might weigh more in the big picture.
As the journey continues...

All Too Well

"Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well"

I like how when I listen to a song that's familiar but yet I can still discover new lyrics in the midst of what is already known. That above is from Taylor Swift's All Too Well and I strongly believe she is the only person on the face of earth that can come up and pull off such lyrics. The fairy tale, dream like feel when one listen's to her music. She has done it multiple times. Another favourite from her is in Sparks Fly's music video. I don't purposely search for MVs to watch but I am glad that I saw this. Ballerinas and those dresses...Such bliss =) 

Going to a Taylor Swift concert is definitely a must in my lifetime. In the meantime, maybe owning her perfume Wonderstruck would be surreal...

I have completed my musical script, with the songs and dialogues and I don't know if its just me but the moment I control-S my word document, I felt as if I have written the best piece of writing I have in my lifetime. It feels perfect. HAHA, but let's just see how the coming weekend's scene presentation would go.

Till then...

Romantically Deprived

One more paper to go for midterm and after I would be midterms free. Someone is gonna get so fluffed up because the title above was "coined" by him. 

I don't know how discrete should one be about something that people already know but none is talking about it publicly. Its a topic that many are unwilling to initiate, but once initiated *poof* hottest topic you can get I think. Anyhow, there will be a major project again this year by the CF and this time round, I'm a "scriptwriter". Not "Bimbo Nurse" or "Kid at Orphanage" or "Non-Playable Character". For now its "scriptwriter", other roles/posts I shall reveal later if any =P 

I have written scripts before, a few times here and there. Written more than what was actually staged or acted out. This would be the biggest script and production that I will be writing to date. Since it will be from scratch and being in a position where you can have a little say at how you want the story to be or go, no doubt you will put up things that you would like to see. Right no.? I had been persistent on a particular matter since day 1 but in the end, it was decided that what I wanted up on display will not get the green light. So that particular thing I wanted so badly, earned me the label of "romantically deprived".

As a person who appreciates art, I'm eager to see where this project will take me. Strange to see myself being the one pushing others now, instead of being the one pushed. Will be cruel or even unrealistic of me to want people to perform like the cast of Glee or dance like the contestants in So You Think You Can Dance. Especially in the area of dance. I am no dancer (I go from saying I have two left legs to the ground is shaking) and heck, I never took ballet before also. But, I have appreciated seeing performances where dancers really stretch as far as they can. You should be able to tell that I like those contemporary ballet or lyrical dance performances by now.  Whatever that I cannot do physically, does not mean I can't picture it in my mind. If there is a piece that I can co-choreograph (mannn, the head director must have that much faith in me), I'm gonna push them to stretch their legs further or jump and leap as high and far as they can. That's in the dance department. Be ready for status quos to be challenged.!

To the journey of script writing, whhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeee~~~~

Rekindle the Fire

That is one thing that impacted me in church today. That three words, the rest of the sermon, I have forgotten or I wasn't paying much attention to begin with. So that three words sealed the deal for me. 

No activities has been carried out for the "thing" that I said yes to yet, but I sure hope that when it does, I will be enthusiastic and positive about it. Its gonna be a role that has much bigger responsibilities that the one I held in the previous production. 

I am not an outstanding figure in leadership, but I don't think I suck big time as well. In student activities/productions, unlike a real job where food on the table is determined by how you do your job, its easy for students or US, to not have much motivation. I once led a group of people who 1) had another language medium as mine. It was bearable at first, I could contain the Grammar Nazi in me. Then after my internship, its irritating to hear people not "speaking properly". They were also of a different kind of work ethic and frequency. They came to meeting multiple times unprepared and when I come to claim their work, they are honest enough to tell me not to worry. I didn't wanna take cheap shots at them or to tell them how to use their time. It was at their own conscience. So, I am not terrible neither am I great. I hope to be open to learning and growth but give me a crowd like that, I just won't be able to be effective and efficient in my work. 

By availing myself for this production in my final year, its definitely a risk. I might have a clue on how demanding this journey would be but not the biggest and clearest picture. Like how the title suggest, its a step (quite a big one actually) that I am taking to rekindle the fire for God. To what lies ahead, its gonna be kick-ass (most used words at the moment).

Welcome to the New Age...

Brrrr, post and title has no relations. That is what happens when I don't know what to name a post and Youtubing at the same time. *Radioactive (cover) by Clara C*

There are a few things that has been on my mind regarding this space here. After so blogging for almost 2 years now, I find my blog not being like those commercial blogs that I follow. It has been somehow an outlet for me to let out anger, frustrations and ramblings. I want a happpeeeyyyhhh blog where I share happy stuff, where I put good things out there. But no, that's so not the case here. I mean, where are my attempts of #OOTD posts. See, I follow fashion blogs where bloggers blog bout the personal style, their vacations, their foodie adventures and I have a weakness for such blogs. Major weakness. Till today, I have never taken a full #ootd shot. Too shy to be in front of the camera. With time and lost of hope, hopefully, I can turn this blog around as I have no plans on moving to a new blog. Don't worry, I will still bitch bout nonsense and crap that is affecting me here.

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There was this incident of me "holding the wrong key at the wrong time" back when I was in Gamma2. Its Delta1 now, so that would be approximately 2 semesters ago. I was holding the key to this study space that me and a bunch of my friends frequent. I was there one night, trying to be a nerd and study for my upcoming Finals. Studying, studying, I halfway got a call from a senior which after that phone call conversation I would call a jackass. So, innocent MeiTheng, studying so hard for Finals got a call from a soon to be jackass senior. Jackass senior on the other line was the epitome of rude and uncivilized. Like my goodness, didn't you learn anything bout manners growing up.? Who on earth talks to a girl, as a matter of fact people like this - "I wanna make myself clear and I don't wanna repeat myself so you listen carefully here. I want the keys to be in my hands by tonight. You understand that or not?". Maybe just maybe, you never learned manners growing up. Stupid me, I got traumatized by that phone call. To think, the keys were in my hands. If I wanted to play games, he would have needed to play by my rules. I could have played hide and seek with him and be a diva and demand him to talk properly.

So that was one. Then there was the no-balls apology this person pulled off. He was already there in the study space when I reached. This was few nights later btw. He pulled his friend along when he apologized to me. Oh mai, brother, where are your balls.??? Like seriously.? Where the heck were they.? So bravely lecture me over the phone and this is the apology you pulled off.?

Months passed and I lived a kick ass life through my internship. After my internship and for my final year, I moved into my own single room, in a house with people I know. Then it was CG, and he is a close friend of one of my housemates. He was chit chatting with my housemate and when he saw me at the hall, I sensed he felt awkward. I said "Hi" and its like he wanted to leave my porch so fast. What a waste right? Inflicting awkwardness on your own. It shows that he knows his apology was bullshit, because if he sees his apology as valid, he wouldn't have felt so awkward to stand at my porch longer. You brought this on yourself brother and I am going to be around. Don't mess with me yo! #YOLO

the Big Blue...

Hooray!! Guess who completed her internship.? Its obvious isn't it. After more than 12 weeks at IBM, I came to my last day. It has been a great journey filled with learning, learning and more learning. The first day that I stepped into Plaza to register and make my employee badge, I was determined to be good at my job and to make this journey a memorable, kick-ass one. When they asked if I could extend till the week before my new semester was suppose to start, I didn't hesitate much. To get a placement with them with the results that I have is a miracle on its own ~ this part I would like to thank my upbringing, thank God I spoke English at home that made me nail the interview in parts where my CV was dented. Extending wasn't much of an issue for me also is because I know how I have been away for stuffs regarding my grandmother and also with Malacca. Am I proud of the placement and also the work I did. A "no" would be total bull right? So definitely yes, I am proud of what I have done during my internship. I didn't get a chance to check how many job seekers that I have handled or have contacted was successfully hired. Whether my performance was exceptional or not, is probably another matter. My main tasks in the office was basically phone interviewing job seekers, passive sourcing for job seekers in job portals, screening CVs, posting and advertising jobs to name a few. I would say I enjoy doing it, though sometimes I find some of it a little tedious. Apart from that, I also had a presentation, which I think I did a decent job at =P 

The three months plus that I was at home, many things had happened. From losing my grandmother to getting a new phone. Talk about extremes. I believed in the three months plus that I was there I contributed to the team that I was assigned in, be it a major or a minor one. I loved getting my paycheck (ooohhh I love my paycheck), knowing that I worked for those money feels good. But I didn't really save while I was home also ~ I spent so much for new clothes but looking at my closet now, I don't see where are my new clothes also. Now that I am back to being a student, I felt almost immediately that my thrifty nature came back haha...

There were stuff that I played a part in and contributed which is not my proudest moments. If there is such a thing as a punishment as of now, I am paying the price. Now that classes have resumed and I am now back in campus, I have to pay my dues for the nonsense that I have done while I was away. Since this is my space in the WWW, I shall write clear and hard of what hurts (quoting Ernest Hemingway). Indeed its not painless (double negatives haha) for me, I did not set out to hurt and maybe back stab. In such an age of social media, there are plenty of keyboard warriors and unfortunately I am one too in this matter. So going for whatever trips for the purpose of relaxation and appreciation whatever, was out of the question for me then. Last minute or whatever, I leave it to the person to think. To publicly write you can't believe what happened "yesterday" is probably not your proudest moment either. You said plenty to me after, after which I don't see a point in explaining myself. And no, not because I wanna disperse blame or I was completely at guilt, but because you don't have a single grasp on me. Accountability, my friend, is probably one concept that you never got. I almost laughed out loud when you were screwing me, in the middle of such a not laughable time. Do I wonder if I am or was a table topic to you and your friends? Well yea of course, I must be blind if I don't think so. Am I sorry for what I have done? Yes of course, I didn't set out to hurt a friend. I failed at being of help to you. Do I bother if you are aware of that? Probably not. I know what my intentions are and were and that should be enough already. 

But all in all, my internship was mine. The things I faced, the challenges I overcame, its value adding to myself. What I have done is possibly selfish, but it is mine to keep and "sell" when I graduate and look for jobs. I did question myself this, which I think can be of use to many ~ Is it better to be brainless or heartless? At that time, my answer was it was better to be heartless. I need my brains to get by. Well, sometimes I am quite the bitch. I'll admit that.

Happier posts to come for Delta.!! #finalyearstudent

*Sigh*

At times and situations like this, all my ability to think straight is non-existent. All I want to do so badly is fling whatever I can get my hands on and just be a 5 year old throwing tantrum. 

Indeed the best person for yourself is yourself. 

One day hopefully, I can loudly say "I don't need you because I have me. But you will need me, because you  are not me!". 

Grandma would be proud on how self sustaining I plan to be. 

Adults.? Well reality check, adults don't give away 300 bucks a month to suffer. Is that seriously the best economic decision you can make? All of a sudden, you don't know what choice and opportunity cost is? Your choice is something that will give you the most satisfaction. 

You are not up for a discussion despite how you say you are ready to listen. When a conversation does not go the way you want it to, you stop it by walking away.

Why on earth do I want to waste time dealing with something that I have the option to not deal with?

Please, what on earth was wrong and which part of my simple explanation did you not get? Which. Part??

#SOSGrandma!!!